The Disappearing Essay


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Crying can seem like a negative thing at times, but crying could do you a lot of good. I’m not saying I love to cry; or that I’m a crybaby or something. Trust me I’m not, and I prefer to cry alone where no one can see me. However it’s a great to let your feelings out, an example for me happened recently. It was about three weeks ago on a Friday, when I was sitting in History; my last class of the day. Our history teacher wasn’t at school, for some reason, so we had a substitute. She was collecting the final draft of our Civil War papers; I was excited to  finally be done with the papers as we had been working on them for weeks. She stopped by my table, everyone handed in their paper, as I rummaged through my book bag and binders to find my paper. To my dismay I couldn’t not find it; it might as well not existed. So, I asked the sub if I could go print it, as the computer lab with printers was in the same building and would take me only a minute to get there and print everything. She denied my request and told me that I should have printed it before class and that our teacher wanted it to be printed before class. I told her that I did print it, just could not find it; she must have thought that I didn’t do the assignment because she shook her head. Infact I remember going with a friend to the library to print my paper, and then running from our lockers to the cafeteria talking about DC comics. I wasn’t sure what to do, so I asked her if I could go check my locker. Walking to my locker, I felt like melting into a puddle of goo; as I knew it would not be in my locker. I pondered if my paper had grown legs and walked away, simply because it did not like it’s creator. I was completely confused on the brink of bawling my eyes out. Or if someone stole it, or if someone threw it away. The worst part is that moments before I went to History Class, I was holding it as I packed my bag. I remember placing it somewhere, most likely on the floor next to me, as I talked to several friends. Somehow in between that time where I said a few things to a couple friends is where my essay had to have disappeared. After checking my locker I looked everywhere. The floor, in the hallway, in the main office, on the bulletin board, in recycling bins, and trash bins. Both trash and recycling bins were lidless, so I was not dumpster diving. Although at that moment if I had to do that to get my paper, I’m sure I would have considered it. You gotta do what you gotta do. After running around in the hallway looking for a four paged essay, that was obviously not there I returned to my History classroom. I don’t cry often, and my friends can probably count the number of times they came remember me cry on their hands. However I do have one friend, who is a very emotional person, so I and several people can easily remember the last time she cried. Now, I love that friend to death, so I’m not bashing on her or saying if you’re that kind of person it’s bad. Anyway, here I was walking into my classroom, sniveling with extremely teary eyes, and breathing with long inhales and exhales; when she said I could go print it. I felt humiliated, and didn’t spare a glance at any of my friends or classmates as I ran out of the room, and to the library. There I cried some more, a let what I had been holding in completly out; as a result of that the librarian heard me. The librarian is also my English teacher, however after this year she was going to be the school’s full time librarian as the old one was retiring. Meaning that we knew each other pretty well, as she teaches me daily and I often walk through the library. She rubbed my back and told me some comforting words, after her pep talk I was slightly more ready to face everyone. However, I will admit I did spend a few more minutes just sitting there before returning to my classroom. Thankfully, when I arrived the class was watching a video and the sub quietly took my essay.

I shared this story because I felt the need to show how good crying can be at times. That sounds odd, but I believe it to be true. After crying my heart out in the LIbrary I felt ready and a lot better; less stressed. It was a nice relaxation exercise if you will. Anyway thanks for reading this, and have a good day and weekend.

XOXO

~HD bookworm 12

(Please commit down below your thoughts,connections and suggestions)

 

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